About

“I’ve had all that I wanted of a lot of things I’ve had
And a lot more than I needed of some things that turned out bad”
— Johnny Cash, “Wanted Man”

I’m a twenty-six year drug addict and alcoholic, recently released from my bipolar disorder diagnosis– a gift of sobriety. This blog is under a pseudonym, originally for professional reasons, but lately I’ve been toying with the idea of using my real name. I don’t want to hide my addiction or my recovery. Addiction is a disease and I don’t want to have to hide behind the shame anymore. But I’m still undecided because there’s a lot of ugly stuff in this blog that I wouldn’t want an employer to find. So I’m undecided.

I started this blog at the suggestion of my therapist after sharing with her a short creative nonfiction essay, which is my preferred form of expression. As a recovering substance abuser, I’ll also occasionally intersperse some of my art, which is both driven by and a means of dealing with my illness.

So here’s to recovery and life, cheers to us!


14 responses to “About

  • cabrogal

    “Sorry to those of you who take offense to the word ‘crazy’, but it’s the word I’ve chosen to talk about about my illness.”

    I can’t stand that PC rubbish either.
    Yep, I’m crazy.
    Yep, I’m bipolar.
    Yep, I’m a coon (the Australian equiv. of ‘nigger’).

    I’m not ashamed of any of that and I don’t need euphemisms to deal with it.

    http://neurodrooling.wordpress.com/2013/04/12/i-dont-have-bipolar/

  • thefreescribbler

    Damn right, cheers to us. Everyone is screwed somehow. Some of us just know it better than others. Keep fighting, keep hoping, keep breathing. All things in due time.

  • napperscompanion

    Probably sounds hollow, but what happens with you matters to me. I hope you can find some peace. Sending healing thoughts your way. By the way, nice writing. College English major, perhaps?

  • Gail Monique Mallo

    Hey there, I hope you find a reason/reasons to smile everyday. I hope that when you look into the mirror you will find someone who is beautiful and someone who is strong enough to battle what you are going through.

    Keep writing and keep turning to this journal if it helps you a lot. I know for a fact that writing is good therapy and good thing wordpress is keeping it free too. 🙂

    Hugs to you from all the way in Abu Dhabi. Feel free to drop me a line if you need someone to talk to and I will be at the end of the message every way that I can.

  • jeffmuir2013

    i don’t take offense to the word ‘crazy’ 🙂

  • tinapitta

    I have a bunch of questions. when did your illness first manifest? Is there a genetic component in your family? I am sure you have taken responsibility at various times in your life..for things that were in your life…..so now when you see friends leaving you and dropping off..is there any part that understands why that might be their only choice? I am confused by the wanting help and attention and then the throwing it off and rejecting it. I do not wish to aggravate you in any way…I am simply interested in the dialogue with you and your blog. Congrats on the supreme achievement of law school…I cannot even imagine.

  • Broken Halo

    Love your blog, love your honesty, I think you are probably one of the sanest people I have come across in this “crazy world”, or maybe that’s because I’m crazy too…lol.

    I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. Visit my post to read about it. NOTE: IF YOU ARE NOMINATED, YOU’VE BEEN AWARDED THE VERSATILE BLOGGER AWARD (no need to wait for a winner to be announced)

    http://brokennhalo.com/2013/05/01/versatile-blogger-award/

  • Majid

    I read some of your posts today and I instantly find is a great writing capability and ability to express yourself. There are a lot in a life that could easily be ignored, goods and bads. Maybe the hardest ever part of life is to figure out some great belongings of ours and honor them, feel happy about them and value them. Yet, also find what has been our weaknesses that our past contributed to them, (not the outcome of many other factors) and perhaps be mindful of them, cure them or control their consequences.
    I would suggest for each of us -as I may need it more than you, who knows- to concentrate and not let ourselves be engulfed with waves of distracting thoughts and feelings. Take the time to focus on our true selves and our lives. I don’t want to fool myself by pretending life does not have any constrains or can suddenly turn kind and passionate to us, but it has its bright side as well as dark sides. Being aware and understanding can help us heal from inside, and get the most from our lives. Life is not going to turn the way we like it ever! All we can do is to explore some goodness and appreciate it as it deserves.
    I love it that you try to improve your condition, enter a battle with your situation and hopefully grow the willpower to find some way out.. That’s a great thing. Let’s be happy with what we achieve and know them but not fool ourselves.

  • cabrogal

    I sort of nominated you for the Shine On award.

    But … umm … I think I broke it. 😉

  • TeeoZoe

    hiii sugar ♥ i have nominated you for the wordpress family award.! ❤ here is the link ♥ http://hopedreamwait.wordpress.com/2013/08/14/the-wordpress-family-award-%E2%99%A5/ have a wonderful life.! ^_^

  • Bipolo Kayaker

    Also bipolar recovering addict (alcoholic). Stay strong. Crazy is an ok description. I say “I am bipolar” as opposed to I Have. Its our own individual experience. Matters not how we describe it as long as you Own It 🙂

  • Neuköllner Botschaft

    I’m a bipolar and recovering substance abuser just as well. Tanx for your encouraging words. I’ll follow you and your blog. There’s to few of your serious engagement on the web.

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